Reflection(s)
by Pokemon67
Summary: Summary: The wedding is tomorrow. It's only natural that one would reflect on past love before entering their new one...


_Her Box of Things_

 **Me: a little something I wrote before the wedding episode. *dries fangirl tears* so perfect, so** **beautiful...**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the heart wrenching, tear jerking, beautifully painful show that is Once Upon a Time.**

It was late. With such a big day tomorrow, Killian should be asleep. But he couldn't. Excitement, apprehension, and other such trifling emotions stirred inside him, causing him to rise and pace the deck of the _Jolly Roger._

He was sitting on the step now, looking out at the sea. The moon cast a glow on the water, making look silver.

 _Miliah leaned over the railing, her sketchbook depicting an accurate picture of the rising moon forgotten on her seat.''My favorite color. Oh! if only I weren't such a dunce when it came to coloring!''_

Killian smiled at the memory. His fingers tightened around the small box in his hand. _Miliah._ When Killian had first begun to fall for Emma, he felt like he was betraying his dead lover. But he came to accept her death and move on. He knew now Miliah wouldn't hate him for finding new love, but be happy for him.

 _''Hades pushed her in.''_

It was his fault. Miliah would've found a way to move on, to get to Baelfire if it hadn't been for him going to the Underworld. And because she helped Emma get to him, she was suffering in the River of Lost Souls.

Killian sighed and leaned back against the step, feeling the waves as they rocked the boat.

 _''You learn fast,'' Killian said, standing next to Miliah. ''I've seen perfectly good sailors sick to their stomachs for days after a long wait on shore. Been on a boat before?''_

 _Miliah smirked and shook her head. She was quiet for a moment, staring at the sea. ''It's beautiful,'' she said, quietly, as if afraid her voice would disrupt the water somehow. ''The waves. If you just kind of accept the face that your not on land anymore, and go with the waves, it doesn't make you sick.''_

Kilian sat up straighter. He finally turned to the small box in his hand.

 _''What's this?'' Miliah asked, turning the bundle Killian had dropped in her lap over._

 _''A gift,'' Killian said. ''Raided that trader who tried to cheat me. Included this in the goods to beg my forgiveness.''_

 _Miliah opened the bundle. She ran her fingers along the carved wood. ''It's beautiful,'' she said. ''Won't get us anything selling it?''_

 _Killian shrugged, ''It's just a jewel box,'' he said. ''Not a terrible fancy one at that, anyway. Besides, took quite a bit of cash from the bloke too.''_

 _Miliah continued to stare at her treasure. ''It will be perfect for my pencils,'' she smiled._

 _''It's meant for jewelry,'' Killian laughed._

 _''I'm a pirate,'' Miliah retorted. ''The only jewelry I get is stolen from others and sold for a profit.''_

 _''Sold to buy more pencils.''_

 _''Which are much more practical treasures in my opinion, thank you very much.''_

Killian opened the box. It had been a long time since he had. After Miliah's death, he hadn't gone near it. Then he began looking at it nearly everyday. But since coming to StoryBrook, since meeting Emma, he hadn't touched it.

Everything was exactly as she had left it. Her pencils, though haven't been touched by their artist in years, were still in good condition. Her best drawings, of the moon, herself, Baelfire, and him, were folded up and neatly tucked there. Her knife, sometimes used for sharping pencils, other times used to threaten enemies, was still tucked in it's sheath.

Killian wasn't a sentimental person. He really didn't know why he didn't take this stuff and throw it in the ocean along with Miliah. Should he get rid of it now? was it wrong to keep memories of your past loves?

Killian shook his head. _No,_ he could practically hear Emma in his head. _If it were wrong then what the hell would I do with Henry?_ Though they both would know the two things were quite different, it would be something Emma would say.

So, Killian would keep the box. Just as he had for all those years. Tucked away, untouched, collecting dust. It seemed wrong. Wrong that Milliah's treasured belongings should lay out of sight. Wrong that her pencils and sketches should lay unused. It had always felt wrong, but Killian had never come up with a solution for it and still hadn't.

He closed the box lid. He picked it up and made his way back to the cabin, setting it on the table. He laid down on his cot, closing his eyes.

 _Dammit, Jones,_ he cursed himself. _You are supposed to be happy._ He was, tomorrow he was getting his happy ending. But tomorrow was another day for Miliah in that tortuous place.

 _''Where is it?'' the man demanded. He held the knife close to Miliah's neck, his threat unspoken._

 _Miliah gritted her teeth. ''We've had this conversation before,'' she stated evenly, very aware of the cold metal near her skin. ''So I hope you won't be too surprised when I say, I don't know.''_

 _The man couldn't control his rage. He yelled and slashed his knife down Miliah's arm. She let out a scream and fell to the ground as the man kicked her. ''One last time,'' he said, hovering over her. ''Where is it?''_

 _Miliah responded by spitting in the man's face, the only form of combat while she was being stood on._

 _The man raised his knife— and fell to the floor._

 _Killian, looking no better than Miliah felt, helped her up. ''Are you alright?''_

 _Miliah held her injured arm at an awkward angle, trying to even her breathing and make the black spots in her vision go away. ''Oh, yeah,'' she replied. ''You?''_

 _Killian smiled, that painful smile that she understood so well. Because even though they were in pain, bleeding, and could very well be dying, they_ loved _the adventure._

Miliah didn't deserve the River of Lost Souls. She deserved to be happy. Even though she too had been a pirate, she hadn't been nearly as much of a villain as he, and yet he was getting his ending. Miliah deserved her's too.

Kilian though of how Arthur had said that maybe the Underworld was his kingdom that he was meant to save and fix. Maybe one day Arthur would even save those unfairly tossed into the River.

 **Me: I was writing this because I was so mad at Rumple for denying Milah the very thing he spent years trying to do- see Baelfire. And with season 6 (just finished watching on Netflix) I just despised Rumple so much. This was supposed to end with Killian giving Henry Miliah's pencils, as I quite like the idea of Henry having something from his other grandmother. But I kinda lost the flow...**

 **I also wanted to do Emma reflecting on Neal, but like the ending, I lost the flow for that too. Probably won't update this agin, unless I find the flow again. *looks** **despairingly at closet full of ideas, covered in cobwebs* eh, don't be holding your breath...**

 **Anyway, hope you liked it regardless.**

 **Happy Writing! (and reviewing, you know, if you have time).**


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